I Can Put A Cross On My Equal Sign, Too

The red background with the pink equal sign went up as my Facebook profile picture.  I guess you could say it is one of my very few and limited political statements on Facebook.  In fact, I hardly do anything on Facebook besides “like” amusing things and add pictures.  Last I checked, that was pretty much the point… and not to start intense discussions.  However, I do like having the equal sign displayed dispite any controversy.  The issue of gay marriage pulls at my heart in a way that most other politics do not.  It affects me as an American, as a friend, and as a Christian.

First, I love that it’s an equal sign.  Perhaps being black and a woman drives me to fight for equality because history reminds me that my life could be very different from what is today had a few white men not have had a change of heart and mind.  During the time of slavery, blacks were not permitted to get married.  They had to have secret ceremonies and “jump the broom” for their marriage (side note: I am not jumping any damn broom in the future. “I’m free!” You hear that future husband?).  Then once America got over that hump, it struggled with interracial marriage.  I understand that marriage is sacred.  It is beautiful!  But because you have dark skin, you can’t get married? Because you and the one you love do not match on the outside, your union is disgraceful?  We have evolved from that (well, not everyone but generally speaking) to realize that color does not matter.  It took many speeches and marches and protests and deaths to prove it.  I feel that I have the right to be married and luckily, it came to be.  So, how can I stand and believe that I deserve more rights than someone else?  What makes me better than my dear friends such that I should be given more privileges than they?  Last I checked I was just a Christian, black woman that knew that she was no better but also no less than the next person.  Marriage equality signifies progress and love and acceptance.  Different is not bad.  But bullying is bad.  And terrorizing others is bad. And arrogance is worse.  And Indifference is the worst.  Tolerance without acceptance is stagnant.  So, only love can advance us (I may have just sounded like a hippie but deep down you know it’s the mushy truth).

As an opposing response to the red equal sign, I have seen others post the red equal sign with the slash through it.  I’m very familiar with this sign, as I teach math; I get the point.  But that didn’t bother me too much.  I know that not everyone agrees with me on the issue or has to.  I did, however, see a different response that made me somewhat irritated.  It was a red background with a pink cross (dragging religion into politics...as usual:-/).  The intentions of the cross may vary but I feel that it carries a heavy and sorrowing implication: that Christians are not or should not be on the side of the red equal sign.  I feel that a lot of the dissent about gay marriage is not because of state’s rights (which I think has more ramifications politically than anything because the state, not the federal government, has been in charge of recognizing marriages), but because it is against what the Bible says.  This disturbed me because 1) it seems that believing in equal marriage rights and being a follower of Christ are mutually exclusive 2) by supporting gay marriage, I’m not as Christian or as good of a Christian as someone opposed to it and 3) that all Christians hate gays.

I read the same Holy Bible as these other Christians do.  In fact, the bible beside my bed is the one given to me at infancy with my full name engraved in gold script.  King James Version.  Red Letter.  I’m not going to pretend to be a biblical scholar, but I have studied my bible, too.  I have read it entirely, but certainly not continuously or without skimming certain passages (like Genesis 5 is literally all about Adam’s family tree and how everyone lived one hundred plus years, like Methuselah and all those other bros).  So, I may not be one of those folks than can just bust out with several memorized passages of scripture, but I am a reader.  And I have read.  Homosexual acts are deemed sinful… and along with a variety of things.  Sex IS marriage;therefore, fornication is definitely a no-no.  If a woman was made a widow and her late husband had an unmarried brother, she is to marry him.  Men and women are supposed to stay virgins until marriage or else suffer a deathly stoning.  You are not supposed to plow your fields with both an ox and an ass.  You cannot eat unclean foods, so no bacon… ever.  I’m pretty sure there was even a section that said that women were not supposed to braid their hair… oops.  I bring these up to make this point: we are all sinners and we sin all the time.  My sins do not separate me from the sins of thieves or murders or adulterers and the reason is this: because Jesus took them away.  God’s love is not exclusive but is for all.  The outcasts of city found comfort in Jesus.  We keep treating gay people as outcasts, but following Christ would implore us to pull them in closer, love them, and treat them as equals.  Not treat them as equals because it makes you feel good inside, but because they are your equals.  My sins are no better.  I’m not closer to God because I’m heterosexual.  That’s bologna.  The red letter text in my bible tells me that Jesus said to love God, love yourself, and love others as you love yourself.  When he refers to laws, he directs us good Christians to the 10 commandments (and thankfully not all the other long lists also in Deuteronomy).  Then, Paul says one of my favorite things in Galatians 2:20-21, “I am crucified with Christ; nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh by the faith of the Son of God who loved me, and gave himself for me.  I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain.”  And that small verse speaks volumes to my heart about wrestling with sins and grace.  I hold on to the truth that God just loves because He is love.  That is an unshakable truth.  My grace and righteousness isn’t because I’m heterosexual, middle-class, law-abiding citizen.  His love is not poured out for those that only follow the law.  If righteousness could be attained by following the law, Jesus would be have been for naught.  And let's be real, none of us would ever know grace because of our sinful nature.  The love that I want to have projected unto others is one that is unbiased, unprejudiced, and relentless, just as Christ had.  I do not think that other Christians that feel as I do are twisting/transforming the bible to accommodate for a progressive society.  I’m taking the bible seriously and all that it has in it.

Also, I shouldn't feel this need to defend my faith while I'm making a political statement, but as a someone that is more politically liberal, my religious views come off as some "nuanced Christianity."  I feel like I have to proclaim my faith because it's not consistent with other louder and more conservative Christians that use their faith in politics.  So, lately, I believe the reason I'm so annoyed overall is that too many marriage equality debates are ignoring separation of church and state more and more. I don't like throwing my politics in with religion because my religion is not for everyone; it's the government that's to be for everyone.  While marriage is truly religious, the act recognized by the state is not.  The state in which you live could care less about the church it happened in, the color scheme you had, the songs you danced to, or the love that was felt passing through every person present.  They care about a legal document, signed and filed, for tax purposes.  The state is involved because money passes through their hands.   The state doesn’t do ceremonies and weddings but it will do paperwork, and that's actually how I like it. The political issue is that the federal government would define what constitutes marriage which would trump the state’s right to call it.  I think this point should be the topic for debate, and for awhile it was... then we were reminded that God hates fags.  Instead it seems like a feud of holier-than-thou bible verses and prejudice. 

The bottom line is that I could never look at some of my best friends in the face and tell them that they don't deserve the same marriage rights that I have.  That is not what I know friendship to be.  Friends are equals.  They cannot change their sexual orientation any more than I can change the color of my skin. And let's not forget...that whole "separate but equal" thing really didn't pan out....  50 years from now, when all of this is recorded in history textbooks, I want to look back and remember what side of the debate I was on... and smile.